Paper Cuts

One of the bosses I met during my working years, was a wise individual whose words stayed with me. He wasn't particularly highly educated, but he held wisdom exceeding doctorates in his caring ways about others. His thoughts were broad and sharp and rang true. He didn't mean his lines to be advice; they were given usually, as asides during conversation. This kind of one-on-one help is invaluable, and remains always, the best kind. He said,"Don't let trust be taken for granted, get it on paper and in writing, and keep a copy". That advice has been standard for me ever since. When I hear people considering the huge move of co-habiting or living with another person,  I shudder somewhat. Having listened to tales of woe when a relationship goes under, makes me wonder why people do it without some kind of legal arrangement. Get-it-on-paper comes to mind. It's lovely to take up residence with your lover and learn ways of sharing your lives together, but at the same time, realities do enter the picture. If you are owning something or having children together without some kind of legal documentation, you may one day regret that you didn't consult the lawyer before taking on that kind of bond. It's not a move to darken the wonderful feelings of being a loving couple, because hoards of people do it very successfully. It's actually just a caution that if something can happen, it just might happen and often does. Like you, I have listened to tearful moans by friends who found that when the "honeymoon" ended, trouble started. Sharing kids and dogs and mortgages can be disastrous when couples break up without some kind of contract. If-only-I is too late. Unfortunately, nasty things can happen when splits occur, things that could have been avoided if the couple had simply gone to some lengths to get their moving in with their mate, on paper. Does such a legal effort take away the romance? Of course not. It shows how much you respect your very important move, so that both are showing how much love for each other is present. If one of the partners objects, the other should still make the matter clear. It takes true love to have the sensitivity to meet the needs of both of you who want no secrets in your relationship and no worries about the future of it. Moving in together, isn't plunking your clothes into someone's closet or dresser drawers. It's far more than that. There are all kinds of emotional facts, financial habits, personal needs, family concerns and a host of other small details that can become messy when the stresses of living with another person become everyday reality. If you really care about trust, trust enough to get-it-on-paper.