Secrets of Youth

When you reach "of an age", you can always use a little help. It might be a bit of muffin-top reduction with the use of spandex or perhaps a modicum of sunny colour to brighten up the  face  or the use of a jacket camouflaging the little hump that somehow mysteriously appears on some older backs. Everyone uses a private and secret aid of some sort to feel better, hoping they might look just a bit younger. You know exactly what I mean, unless you are one of  the "natural"  people who "grow old gracefully". I have yet to meet anyone who actually does this, other than talking about it. One of the useful aids to enhancing one's look, is shoulder padding. When women begin to see their once-square shoulders  heading south along with many other body parts doing the same thing, they often revert to padding to give a bit of a lift to their frame.  It's hard to find shoulder pads these days. A women's wear clerk advised me, in eyebrow lifting terms, "shoulder pads are passe, dear; no one uses them any more". Ignoring the patronizing "dear", I advised her back, "Really? I never gave them up".  A few decades ago, shoulder pads were huge. Football players would envy the look.  Still further back, conversely, women with sloping shoulders were considered the ideal beauty.  Today with fashion going all over the place, it's a choice. And my choice is to add a little height in the collar bone region. Now that sewing supply stores are disappearing, finding dress-making items such as shoulder pads, is almost impossible. I take them from garments I discard. ( Buttons, too. Just try and find a place to buy buttons! ) I sew onto the pads, a piece of the grabby part of the velcro, put the pads onto my shoulders, making sure the velcro attaches firmly to my dress or top's shoulder seams with a quick push and rub. It usually works quite well. Unfortunately, some clothing doesn't have the kind of nap that allows for the velcro to stick securely. While I usually find a fallen pad somewhere in the house, there have been occasions when one of these aids drops out in the most embarrassing places. Once having changed back into my clothing at the doctor's office, I noticed that when he sat down to discuss something with me, one of my shoulder pads lurked near his right foot. He didn't see it fortunately, but I made sure that I lingered until he finally got up and excused his busy self. Hastily, I dived for the lost pad swiftly just as he left. Another time, in church, as we approached the communion rail, one of these aids, slid down my sleeve to rest mid-aisle.  People merely skirted politely around it. I abandoned that shoulder pad entirely, but did check the lost and found during the week. No shoulder pad turned up. I suspected there might be another collector amongst the congregation. Sometimes even at home, a shoulder pad drops out and then the search is on. How can such a small thing be so hard to find? Having a little dog has its advantages. They  locate slippers, tennis balls, old sweaters and apparently, shoulder pads. A good wash and a stitch or two after the dog has played with it, and the shoulder pad is whole again and ready to go.