Age Treatment

I wrote a cheque the other day, with the receiver looking on, and some time later discovered that the person's last name was incorrect. Why didn't that individual say something? Probably, she was embarrassed, not for herself, but for me. It was an example of how not to treat someone older. Being of an age, does not mean one is stupid or helpless or forgetful any more than anyone else. Nor does it mean elders are necessarily wiser or more deserving or needful. Age is merely a number, and that's all it is. But in our society that worships the look of youthfulness and small numbers in just about everything but money, aging is regarded as something distasteful and fearsome. Pre-judgements are made. I heard a middle aged person say, "they all lose it". I don't think she knew she was speaking of her future self. What we lose is patience for such sweeping statements that apply not to everyone who has grown or shall grow old. When does "old" happen? Does it occur at fifty, sixty, eighty? When?  Forgetfulness or just forgetting in someone younger, is acceptable, but if you look old, over a certain number in years, it is assumed to be a sign of "Alzheimers". Eyeballs roll and fingers tap foreheads. Statistics argue that aging is not a loss of memory in every aspect, nor do they agree that it happens at a specific age. My message to those who have not yet entered the "golden years", is to regard age as a natural stage in life. It's a time that every single creature has ahead and it's not always one that is painful or forgetting or stupid. Of course our appearances change as they always have, of course we make the same silly mistakes everyone does, of course our bodies may not be able to do what they once could. It's all perfectly natural and nothing to fear or decry. I abhor the endless, trite jokes about aging, but then, I think, when we are afraid of something, many of us laugh and make fun of what we fear and that, too, is natural. So, how do we treat the aged, you ask. The cardinal rule would be to avoid patronizing the elder. Because one is aged doesn't mean he or she is an old infant. Be respectful just as you would of anyone. But realizing that aging does need assistance sometimes, ask the person in adult terms and tone. Most aging people enjoy real conversation. When I say real, I don't mean that you want someone sidling up and speaking to you  in a cooing voice. While most elders say nothing back, they are likely groaning inside. I once entered an elevator in a medical building and when an elderly woman took a long time to come in due to walking difficulties, someone reached out to take her arm and steady her. She snapped, "If I want your help, I'll ask for it." I think that example says it all.