Go Back Anyway

Just read a new, beautifully written novel called  If I Forget You by Thomas Christopher Greene who lives in Vermont. For those of you "of an age" whether man or woman, it's a kind of inspiration. Words such as "beautifully written" and "inspiration" are undeniably weak, but they are honest. This book makes one think back to your old love, that one you always wondered about, the one you reminisce over.  This tale is about a young couple, very much in love, very much separated socio-economically, as the saying goes, but their relationship just prior to college, is of permanent quality. Of course, fiction pairs up impossible lovers so to cause the story to resonate, and this one is no different. The author claims it to be non-autobiographical but I wonder. There needs to be some sort of tension to hold a reader and this book does it in a Casablanca-style theme. The book resonated with me because I am one of those people, and there are legions, who, for some reason, hold loves for a lifetime. None of those I ever loved, escaped me even if the romance was only a fantasy. Many of you know exactly what I mean. When you were young, I am old now, like me, you loved someone and then life got in the way and you lost that person over the years. If you were as fortunate as I am, in meeting that love again much later, you will fully understand. As in the book, finding and managing that "old" love, can have its downside. In my story, death claimed happiness but in this one, the downside is that the couple meets again but one is married and the other, not. It's an age-old dilemma. Does one harm the innocent to pick up the old love again or is it best to walk away and be sad to lose what you have wanted all your life? It happens that there are choices you have to make, and the novel clearly points this out. In the tale, the marriage of one lover, was not a good one but it did owe loyalties. And there would be hurt. The choices were hard but to make a perfect choice sometimes it's necessary to try it on first, to try both avenues to see which one makes the most sense and hope you can turn back again if you err. One party will hurt and be hurt in the process but love is a very strong and permanent  a thing, and can't be driven merely by what is morally right or wrong, no matter how moral one is. Judgments have to be made by one's actions but there is no true right or wrong. Love is all, and it wins no matter what the outcome. The book has the couple rejoining in their latter years and their joy is finding the "right" one that is unfortunately  not the correct one. There is a happy ending and a satisfying one, but not all tales in real life end that way. I guess the lesson is to at least try to find that long lost love and then, see how it goes. But be brave and strong and remember that you have only one life. Go back anyway.