After The Bug

 Grieving is a complicated thing and now that many who have lost their elders and others during the height of the pandemic are doing so. The time has come to contemplate rather than panic. Scientists and governments are constantly criticized and hounded as to why this virus happened, who did it and who isn't doing enough and what is going to happen next and when and how it will pay out. One group, for example, is demanding apologies from hospitals for the infections that they say were responsible for family death. Viruses are devious and completely free of prejudice. Their only goal is to latch onto a place where they can multiply to stay alive. Humans are fighting back as well as they can but it appears to be a challenging job to keep up. Grief has stages and it has been determined that the stages don't come in neat order but jump around back and forth, up and down on the list of symptoms, before reaching the final stage that is acceptance. And even then, some in grief, don't get that far. Losing a loved one is the worst form of sadness not just because it is a shock to the human psyche, but also because, untimely, it pops up in the most unexpected times. There are no rules. We've all been through a lot in the last couple of years and no one has escaped the effect, not even me, an eternal optimist. Yes, there were times when I, too, could see what looked like it could descend into something sci fi movies relate as the end of all human life. But what an optimist does, is keep its head above water and struggles to make it stay that way even in the darkest of times. We are fighters against the negatives. Can't help it. But some well meaning, fine folks, just cannot seem to dig out of the pit of morbid moods and their feelings are to be understood and empathized with. Blaming others is not a good bandage to wrap oneself in, however. It doesn't really work. After the apologies, then what? Move on? Feel satisfied? Stop grieving? Unfortunately, no. An apology demanded of a hospital for example, a place where everyone in it, does their best under the most difficult circumstances, including personal danger, is a pretty fuzzy apology even if given. In my "book", an apology is more. It's a kind of payback, not in money, but in sincerity. For a hospital to apologize means that some stranger or a group of them, speaks their regrets but nothing, certainly not words, can bring back the dead or change what was. It's over and done with, and words aren't sticks and stones. They can hurt, but they can't cure what was, what happened in the past. What truly helps grief, is time and for time to work, it needs the griever's patience and perseverance. There is no prescription for curing grief. I lies buried in the griever. It is somewhere to be discovered and met and dealt with. Been there.