Little Old Ladies

 Read a report this morning about elders with dementia who are abandoned in hospital ERs by exhausted family care-givers. They can no longer tolerate the lack of help and funding to carry on even though they may love their person very much. The term is called "granny dumping". First of all, the action is horrendous and says much about the disrespect society has for its elders and second of all, it is rude to use "granny dumping" as a term for this action. It's highly offensive to females because as many, or perhaps more males, are affected even though ordinarily not as long living. The former matter has to do with under funding and the disgraceful economic discrimination that exists in the matter of commercial care homes. The second one has to do with the press who uses the term thus furthering it whether intended or not. Having once cared for an elder twenty four seven who was blind and physically incapable, but who needed constant care, I know how exhausting it can be. Tagging that kind of commitment with governmental supplemental "respite" help is a joke. Sending someone in to allow you to "get away" for an hour or two to shop doesn't in any way, make up for all the other hours including endless sleepless nights. And outside "home" care is too expensive costing usually, more than paying a luxury five star hotel fee plus the extras. And the complexities one has to suffer in finding and accessing funding and placement is a nightmare.  No average person can afford  a "good" home for what amounts to double the average wage to pay out monthly.  We fret constantly about what comes out of our mouths that may be offensive to someone, while at the same time, get away with how we treat our elders who are afflicted through no fault of their own with dementia. I know. When we wanted to attend a family reunion some hundreds of miles off, we took our elder who needed constant care, to a highly rated "home" for the week. But only a day or two later, we were called and told that we needed to bring immediately, some fresh pajamas. We told the manager that we had packed two pairs or could they launder them there, or purchase new ones because of our distant location. "It's against our policy and schedule" we were told, but only after some chat, finally resolved it. Extra charges were needed. But the experience left us shaken to learn about the complexities of even the best of elder care facilities. What of the other "homes" that were not rated so? What happens to our elders whose families cannot afford outside care and do it themselves? Why do not all homes offer the same elder care at the same charges? Why is it such a trial to find placement? And why do we use terms such as "granny dumping" in reference to those of old age, something that no one escapes. These questions are now. Everyone knows that the answer is spending money on it and lots of it because we all grow old. No one escapes old age. It doesn't discriminate.