Number Nutsy

 The other day I was asked suddenly what my phone number was and I, like you, stumbled for a bit. The old hack excuse is "I hardly ever call myself". Most people would laugh it off, but when you're an elder, you get The Eye and the Nod. Nonetheless, it brought to mind the number of numbers and letters I have to remember from day to day. I am not a frequent cell phone user much to the tongue clucking of those around me, therefore, I do not grab a little plastic thing to answer every question there is, as do users. I have a very old fashioned rolling gizmo with little white cards on it that tells me numbers and addresses and names and it's even cross referenced. My cell phone, yes I do have one, goes with me only when I step outside the door. I am not a person who needs to confirm her existence by constantly looking at a phone screen. I don't even like the things in my house. Visitors who bring these itsy bitsy nuisances inside, seem to be tied to them like umbilical cords. They will leap up when their itsies ding at them and rush to see who it is. To me it's as laughable as they find me without a cell phone in hand. Cela. But numbers are not only getting longer,  they are also complicated with letters and symbols adding more complicated lengths. Beside my desk computer ( I like a big screen with touch) along with the Rolodex. is my cell phone dutifully plugged in ready to go out with me when I choose to take it. I don't have a dog. When I get a parcel delivered for online shopping, the order comes with a mile-long tracking number. Why do I need to track what I pay someone to deliver? I used to delete these incredibly long numbers, but occasionally I have to use them when one of those off-shore companies takes ones money but neglects to send the product. But usually I delegate these lengthy numbers to a file that grows exponentially. These numbers are a mile long and almost as silly long as the ones you get when you "register" cyberwise, such as your security code for a seven dollar online game. Once I asked why, and was told it was so that it would be hard for hackers. Huh? Hackers are always ten steps ahead of the rest of us anyway. Then there are item order numbers, to store. My groceries get a new number every time I add or subtract something from the list before it comes. Other numbers are "important" such as my health care number, driver's license, bank card pin and social security number. We are told never to divulge them and that we will never be asked them over the phone. And phone numbers being private, are also a joke because those idiot phone scammers have a computer number app that gets you from as far away as India or the Philippines or Dallas, Texas. Private phone number? Ha. And don't be fooled by the tone of voice on the other end, they are not the FBI nor are they your friendly credit card guys. Hang up. And those very secret passwords?  If I put my list of numbers that give all the passwords I have been forced to change for all the places that want them - or else they'll block me - end to end, they'd reach the moon. I wish we got one number when we are born and that was it. It would save the files and lists and places to hide the combinations and permutations and frustrations, so that I can get on with what I am wanting or looking for or needing that I can't get any other way but by a number I don't remember. Oops, there's The Look and The Eye.