Boy/Man Talk

 There is a great deal of concern, the media tells me, about men and how difficult it is for them in the world of romance.  And it is confirmed that it has nothing to do with the rising of women to roles formerly dominated  unfairly by males. It's not the fault of women. It's a men's matter So it's not a gender war. What it appears to be is about, Number One, appearance. That needs defining. Some male groups suggest body building which is good health because it isn't just about lifting weights, it's all about good health. Number One is also cleanliness. Wear torn jeans or a tee shirt, but be tidy and clean and smell soapy nice, not soaked in shaving lotion. I will  tell you this secret, women don't care if you are  balding or have big muscles or are a bit fat. I like to call it "substantial". Confidence and a sense of humour and being nicely communicative count. What do women want in a man? One word. No: lots of words, the good kind: no swearing, no cave man hoo haw, no crude suggestions, no false flattery. Women appreciate just pleasant, friendly chat. It's called communication and without it, they lose interest rapidly. Men apparently fear approaching women because they may be rejected. That shows, so stop it. No one minds a smiling, friendly hello. As to what to say, it'll come to you naturally. Relax. If you get  a smile back consider it an opening to more conversation. What women do not like is a macho, swaggering guy trying to play some kind of boss role. Be you, because  your you is all you need and don't forget a real smile like you truly do want to talk to the person. Just talk in that moment. If it doesn't work, no loss. There have to be lots of losses before a win. At schooling in my day, no one knows how  much I wanted the nerds or the brainy guys who were too shy in the class to dare to come over and say hello to me. I would have loved to tap their minds in conversation and find out all about them. They were a mystery to me that needed solving perhaps but if they didn't come over, I would never know.  It wasn't a romantic wish, it was merely a human want that could possibly have turned out to be a friendship or maybe more. It takes that first step, not the latest hair cut or shirt or big bicep or height or weight. You guys just have to get over there and smile and say hi.