Home?

 When is a home, not a home? Answer: when it is a place. Why are care homes called homes? I suppose because for some, it's the only place where people care for you in a kindly way and see that all of your immediate personal and medical needs are met. It's not a place that is a true home but it is the closest to one, and thus, you grasp the move and see it positively. It is the only place other than with your own family, where you can receive "home", a place to live comfortably. You tolerate. It is acceptable and most elders don't complain no matter how they feel privately. None of we elders want to end up in a place that is ones step down from a hospital, but it's much better than trying to cope with being in our own homes or places that can't provide our needs. It is a close destiny for me now, and perhaps you,  and while we might complain, we ought to be grateful that there are such places. And hopefully we can afford the better ones. They're not all great, to be honest. What does make a true home more true. For me, it's one that has no strict schedules such as when to get up, go to meals, have a bath or shower, attend social events, etc. For me, those are choices I want to make, not someone who runs a place called "home". I would love to live in a "home"  but with a looser kind of plan. I wonder why I can't rise in the morning or go to bed at night of my time choice. One of the reasons for the scheduling in a "home", is that it's cheaper. Still, I think with some creativity, loose scheduling is possible. Why not have a cafeteria setting to which one would go and choose a meal be it breakfast, lunch or dinner at any time of  the day. Like a restaurant buffet with a broad offering. To me, meals aren't on a strict menu plan or a schedule.  I prefer choice, and what would be so difficult in making the dining room like a self-serve restaurant? Pick up a tray and choose. Of course special dining events would be lovely but most days, a choice of ordinary pleasant home meals would work. When it comes to entertainment please not children's choirs or child-like arts and crafts that fool no one into thinking it is art. If you give an art class, let art happen. Please not some kindergarthen slickery trickery paint by numbers sort of nonsense to put up with. Cynicism? No; fact. Check it out. We don't give up being adults when we grew old no matter how slowly we move or think. Movie time for me, is of my choice not a TV up front with  old movies to suffer through. We can find our own old movies on our own screens in our own rooms, perhaps with invited guests. It's not long for me until my very lovely past ninety years as a wife, mother, professional, community participant and voter.  Soon, I  will have to head to a "home". Let it be, please, one that treats me like a thinking human being no matter what my condition or mind. I require that respect for my past.  Most other elders do, too.