Balancing Act

Relationships, I read recently, if unbalanced  can become troublesome and require assessment. Often times it is the female end of the partnership that becomes the heavy end that bears most of the responsibility of keeping things running smoothly. I suppose women feel that it's their job to keep the peace - regardless. Well, dears, it isn't. That shouldn't be news since most women rant and rave about their darlings to other women but do nothing about it. Talk doesn't walk. And walking won't cure it either. Don't feel you have to run to the gym or get a new hair-do or buy something lacy to keep the relationship on an even keel. If it isn't a level playing field - to add yet another metaphor - scrape. Risk a red card and talk to your mate. Talk hard, no tears, no yelling; just present the facts. Don't whine or plead or promise. Get a grip on what you are and what you have to offer the relationship. If the truth blows your game apart and he stomps out, so be it. Sure, there's pain but it lasts about as long as a bad cold. Couple of weeks of crying and ice cream and you're a brand new person that needs to be discovered. This is the time to start the make-over, but this time on yourself. Cut the carbs or get a new dress or take yourself out to a pretty lunch somewhere nice. You don't need a host of girlfriends holding you up. You don't need a psychologist. All you need is to do it and wait a bit. Be patient with yourself and be grateful that the pain you have now is not like the on-going one you endured with Mr. Meanie. Beware that you don't weaken and  go back to make little in-roads that are designed to bring the offender back. He won't change. It is you once again taking up the slack. It won't be long until the shine has once again disappeared and you are right back where you left off. Only this time you'll  have yourself to blame. You will have to go through the same old same old. But, hey that's a natural part of the grieving. Don't beat yourself up, plug on. Some colds last a bit longer than two weeks.