Boogie Men

We all know the scarey childhood "boogey man" who hides in closets and under beds,  but there is also one in the adult world. He is the guy who likes to boogie. In the elder world, he is called, kindly, "the Candy Man", like the old fellow who goes about in malls giving out pocket candy to pretty ladies to chat them up. These boogie men, young or old, come from the same "planet". They are lonely men looking for attention. What real man has to sink to such levels? We won't get into the psychological reasons, mostly because they are not only blatantly clear, but much too sad. This variety of male is usually harmless, but is often an embarrassing nuisance. To consider the Boogie Man, one must first ask, what is boogie? In the last century, about the WWII era, a form of dance arose that was a bit like Hip Hop, only more decorous, done in couples and with clothing that covered the essentials unlike HH that barely does the job now.  Boogie Woogie, spelling excused, saw boys and girls holding hands while defying gravity with lifts, lugs and tosses to music hard to stand still to.  Feet gyrated, hips swashed and skirts swirled often showing off  forms of modest undergarments made for the purpose of exposure. But Boogie Men are those who do a different  form of gyration, usually in the direction of women they want to impress. Or think they are impressing. Their necks swivel in a crowd searching for ladies they think will be receptive to their flatterings. They seldom fail. Their lines are predictable, but always effective, for what female doesn't enjoy a little appreciation once in awhile. However, if you are the date of a Boogie Man, it isn't all that pleasant. You have to stare into space while in your presence, Mr. BM is doing his chat-up. Boogie Men know every female bartender and waitress, sorry, server, in the town you are in and for others miles around. And if they don't, they will make it their mission. They know instinctively how to entice and entangle, but what they don't know, is how to carry through. All they want is to be treated like an old friend wherever they go. And generally they are. There are exceptions because Boogieism is a fine art. Flatteries can be personal but must be non-offensive or the BM becomes someone for the ladies to avoid and who wants to be avoided and to wait an hour to order dinner or whet a whistle?  Mr. BM, in a bar, likes to hang over it where the scenery is better and the other brass-toe boys can be impressed by his prowess. Mr. BM is usually natty and well-groomed but sporting a two or three day beard is acceptable these days. Why, I haven't fathomed. The right attire is also a pre-requisite. An expensive jacket that doesn't look it, a tee shirt of the best brand en tone comes next and the ever present, denim pants.  If the loafers come from Italy it seems you can't or won't afford socks. Good Boogie Men spend a lot of money on appearance. I have an idea, the straight razor was invented for these guys if they shave at all. Their scent is so subtle you won't know it's there until it is too late. Their body language is worth a PHD. They put in months of mirror-hours to study the right lift of eyebrow, the correct lip curl, the moment to back off.  All clipped and toned and attired, these chappies make a lady feel like one but alas, they are only out for a boogie, nothing more. Don't dust off your wedding dress. There is likely a trio at the Boogie Man's home: mom, the mortgage and the old Monterey Ford.  All they want to do is talk,flirt and feel like the man they aren't. You get used to them no matter how tiresome. It's just boogie with no woogie.