Playing Play Men

The Play Man is one who may be charming but is only in the relationship to play. Like a drama, he is acting out a fantasy that is colourful but lacking in substance.  His act is to play the guy who can sweet talk or as the saying goes, charm the birds right out of the trees. He doesn't deliver. He can't and won't.  As a result, most of his relationships are not that, but mere in-one-door-and-out-the-other kinds and last only as long as he is intrigued with his toy women. He has a little black book and a little black heart to match. He comes on with  his lines and gestures, his self-serving heroic tales and big promises but none of it pans out. He is a Play Man. He is a toy himself and not to be taken seriously. Most of the Play Men are obvious and easily dispensed with but occasionally you find one who appears sincere. While he is the same as the other variety, he takes a little longer to discover. You have to be smarter than the Play Man. He thinks he is using you, but the tables secretly can be turned and you can use him if you are wise. This does not include deceptive cruelty because that is self-destructive and will hurt you more than him. What it does mean, is playing him as he plays you, but better. For example, mirror him to an extent. First, allow yourself distance so that you can be more objective about your relationship. If he takes another woman out to an innocent lunch ( never innocent in truth), you go out to lunch with another man, innocently of course. If he calls or contacts  his former women, you call up or e mail yours. He won't be able to call you on it because he would have to admit his own misdemeanors. And no, it is the same. Don't buy his argument that it isn't the same thing. When he flirts with other women, do the same with other men. This guy will either bow out or wake up to what he has in front of him, a woman better at his game than he is.  And if his former females won't let up with their calls and needs, ignore them.  Their jealously or clinging possessiveness does not work with the Play Man. He fears it like the plague and will soon tire of it. If your Play Man wears out, drop him but if you find him amusing and that's all you want, this works. There's lots of room on the Play Ground for both of you.