Not Really Alone -Widow Paper Work

The paper work required after a death is not fun. It can't all be done on-line or by phone. Some of it needs to happen in an office where you may have to stand in line and then slap down one of your many certified death certificates (and get one or two more than you think you need) to complete your business. Few government offices are private. For some interesting reason, banks and other like places in which you do "private" business, think that the cute little dividers created of plywood between clients are sound-proof ! Amazingly blind concept. But, you develop a kind of armor and somehow get through the legalities. It's best to take along a friend or if they can stop telling you "what you should do is", a relative. (Sometimes relatives want to help too much and here you are trying to become your new independent self and they are, "for you own good", offering their "helpful" input. What they often do not realize is that too much help is worse than none at all.) You forge on and save your weeping breaks for when you have time. It all sounds perfectly awful to those who haven't had to do it, but the truth is always a tad ugly. The good part is that each time you get past one of these legal steps, you become stronger and more able to continue growing into your own self. Remember that woman you once were before marriage, the one with all of her spirit of accomplishment and hope? Of course, you can put everything into a lawyer's hands and pay for it, but the majority of people these days, prefer to learn how to DIY. You learn more. I found that most people behind business counters were more than helpful and patient. And speaking of time, take it. Allow yourself quiet periods not to grieve, but to look at how well you are doing and to enjoy your time with yourself, knowing that you are climbing over the hardest thing you have ever done in your lifetime and how proud your husband, in your "other life", would be of you. Way to go, girl!