Ex-files

Exes have their ploys. They play "but I am only being friendly" or with your significant, "let's just meet only for a cup of coffee" or if they are a spam pest, "it's just an e mail or phone call, nothing serious" , or if they have the kids as ammo and they hate you, "it's a family event and they need you there". These exes file away at their former  loss, thinking that if they file away long enough, the former will surely fall in love with them all over again. It is a sad mad ploy that demeans but the ex doesn't care. Desperation is in the wind and anything to file away at their hurt helps. The ex knows that ex-cluding the newby will cause hurt and the ex hopes that might  end the relationship and the goal will be achieved. Hah, ha! But enough of these games, and their true motivation becomes clear. The truth will always out. How do you fix this ex-filing? Truth and the ex-posing of the ploy is  Step One. You have already approached the ex and appealed to have their  dependency halted but got nowhere. Step Two is to have open discussions with your mate about the ex game being played. The two of you must try to understand what is happening and why. Your being together is prime, the little "events" designed by the ex, to blast you apart will not work if you are both aware of the game. Step Three is the usual STEP OVER IT rule. The event is but  a small matter of time that you must both give up and it has no significance other than that. If you want your close relationship to last, no ex can file it away. Solidarity counts and the two of you will easily over-ride these small adversities. Your relationship that will last forever is worth a temporary inconvenience.