Passing The Test

Some lovers who are insecure will put you to the test. Often, the tests are put countless times. One's  past often creates the situation. Delving into the whys and wherefores is something only a professional should get into. For partners who are merely trying to survive the tests of their relationship, love, as they say, conquers all. The tests are not the nasty abuse ones, but are the small annoying things such as flirting with or ogling others. You can rant and nag at your partner which will get you nowhere or you can try to understand why these silly things invade your otherwise happy relationship. Usually the flirtatious individuals are  merely attempting to fortify their egos to bolster their confidence.  They "spend" flattery to receive back like attention. First a frank chat about it to your partner may work. Generally it doesn't, therefore, if you are the partner of such persons, you might treat their bad habit as a joke by joining in with the flirt: "oh I hear that too, pay no attention" or "oh oh, here we go again" or " he/she says that to all the gals/guys". Make it a fun moment. If the problem is ogling, get it out into the open, too. "Would you care to borrow my binoculars" or "am I in the way of the view" or "did I miss the parade?". Other tests may be coffeeing with a former lover or dropping in on them, all innocent of course, you are told. And most of them are. These are tests of your faithfulness. Lay down some rules and let your partner know your limits. That's only fair. Perhaps assuring your partner that he/she doesn't have to worry about your leaving without a good reason. That reason is the breaking of  rules you have both decided upon. There are exceptions sometimes and these need to be negotiated. Relationships are not hard and fast unfortunately. Flexibility is prime. If, however, the "rules" are broken or stretched too much, like anything else, they'll snap and that means it's time to break - up. You have done all you can. Stop the hurt and think about yourself.