Old is New Again

My farm grandmother, her red hair tucked under her felt hat as we gathered eggs from the hen house, said in her Hungarian accent, "I feel like a girl". I was surprised because she worked from dawn to well after dusk with not a holiday in between since my grandfather and she worked on their pioneer Saskatchewan grain operation early last century, and she did not look like any girl I had ever seen. I was a girl. Now I am an elder according to statistics but I "feel like a girl". I  have a loving relationship going. And yes, it began shortly after I became a widow. It shocked, angered and saddened some but to me, it took away nothing from my former wonderful marriage. That remains sacred. Love comes along and it's between two people, not the families of the two. For some odd reason, families oppose the happiness that their elders find and while they object violently to their own relationships being interfered with, they feel they have a duty to try and prevent their parents from enjoying the same right. "You didn't wait long enough" is one reason. That begs the question, where are the rules about "how long" one has to wait? "You didn't ask us" is another accusation. I would pose the question, do you ask me to allow your relationships? And then there are the friends who are widows and say they are disgusted with me for taking on a new relationship. Disgusted? Could there be a bit of envy there? When they find another love, I wonder what their opinion would become then.
I have heard of families going into their father's house with their keys and actually removing "mother's things she meant for us". I think they call that a crime, robbery. Living alone after a death at any age,  does not take away one's sanity, independence and the right to carry on just as before as a citizen with all the rights of those who are young, middle-aged or old. Older people are not at the mercy of their kids. Give them the respect you would expect. They have all the rights you have; all the choices you have; all the need for complete honour and respect that you deserve - and more for their need to be accepted and loved. Take a look around and see if you can fix any of these misconceptions - old IS new again.