The Stranger

Into the life of most widows, comes "the stranger". While this stranger may not be strange, that person is deemed so by her group. No matter how old one is, the desire for a companion, a mate, a lover or whatever you want to name the he or she, is an undeniable fact. Most of the widow's caring folk, assume that grief is a suitable place for her to remain all dressed in black while they drift off to enjoy their own lives. They are not widows. Loss of a mate is abysmal. When you've had a person with you at every turn dealing with this complicated matter called life, you have been plunged into a dark, solitary place and "memories" do not fill the void. Family doesn't fill the void, nor friends. Everything is only you, that's all, and it is a great surprise when you do find another to share you life with and the rest of the world shuns you or regards you as foolish and gullible. No, you aren't. You are merely human and only another widow gets it. You hear accusations: you are just desperate, you're confused, you are being taken advantage of, you are making a big mistake - on and on. No. You are living the life that is yours and you are, like a teenager, feeling your way along as best you can. You will make mistakes or not, it is your life and your time. You don't need their shuns, warnings and dire predictions. You need their understanding. You need their support and keeping you "in the loop". It's not always a bad experience to find another mate or close friend, and often times it becomes another turn in your life, one that is satisfying and,  rarely, in many ways, better than your previous life. One has to reach out after personal loss and take what comes, savour it and continue on. Throwing oneself on a "pyre" and grieving forever may be a romantic thought of those who aren't widows, but it's not for widows who have the rest of their lives ahead.