Sorry, Busy - At Play

When our grand daughters were little, primary schoolers, they came sometimes to stay for a number of days and those days remain as the best memories of my life.  In the morning, we had to get out in the yard to check out the fairy houses. Fairy houses were little structures that we and the girls constructed at their direction, from small twigs, leaves, blossoms and pebbles. They were rather elaborate but delicate. The little ones, as they built, explained to me, what each room was for and who would use it. Some of the upper stories had magical purposes such as look-outs for elves and other unsavory beings that loved to destroy fairy houses. The houses had to be completed before night time because that's when the fairies came out to play. Apparently. I asked for stories about the little people, their names and their tales. It was very special to hear little girls explaining to me the rules of fairy history, behaviour and habit. Most of the talk was created on the spot and all during the construction, busy little fingers were making sure that the fairy houses would withstand the lively dancing and flitting about of the Little People. Tiny berries were added as food tidbits to enhance the celebrations.  In the morning, it was necessary, very early, to go out in our pyjamas to check and see how the little houses withstood the fairy parties. There was great joy to see that the "food" may have disappeared or that elves had attacked and knocked down the walls or that the parties had been so riotous that the whole house had fallen in and needed to be re-done. The grand daughters had stories for the entire overnight scenario. I use this example of play because all of it was child generated and carried out. I, the grandparent, had no input other than interested oohs and ahhs. It was play, true child play.
One of the saddest sights I've seen lately is, while at a lecture in a recreation centre, outside the window, there came a stream of little kids dragging along large golf cart things loaded with hockey equipment, a lot of it. None of them looked happy or as though they were going to have fun. It was after-school time and I am sure they were tired of others directing their lives all day long, but here they were, likely at the command of an adult, in for more adult directed "play". Not fun. What happened to climbing trees, building forts and general free play generated, not by well-meaning adults, but by kids themselves? What I see in most families, is a frantic schedule of organized sports, lessons of all kinds professionally taught or coached and family outings along with a pile of devices hand held or ground into ears. No one talks, everyone is plugged in. Plugged into what? Does any of it matter? Do teens really need to know every miniscule movement of their friends every minute of the day? Do Dads and Moms have to carry on their jobs day and night?  Do families need schedules for planned activities stuck to their fridge doors, plans that fill every day of the week? When, oh when is the family time to play together? Just play, not time for rules and regulations, right and wrong ,winners and losers. It is no longer a flippant question. When children turn to alcohol, drugs and unsavory gangs, who is at fault? The crux of the situation starts at home. If there is one. Both parents work and the children come to an empty house, notwithstanding they're-old-enough to be alone or even with a nanny somewhere usually watching TV? I realize that to keep up with the Joneses both parents have to work: the mortgage, the holidays, the cabin, the car, the memberships, the trips and so on. But if that is so, when is there time for the whole family to simply be together without  encumbrances such electronic devices or pre-planned things to do. I know you are going to say, but the cabin, but the trips. If it's the cabin, that's great for the week or so you are there. What about the rest of the year? What about dinner tables when everyone is there for a meal that isn't rushed to meet some schedule? What about evening times to all sit together to watch TV if you must or play a board game or just read together? I can hear echoes of "that's old-fashioned" "it's a different world" "you are out of touch". Those are too easy answers to vital questions. Think about it. If you have time.