The Perfect Couple

Often people ask, why are these two together? Or, how on earth do they stay together? Or, what makes these two a couple? Based on their behaviour, their dismal histories and their own complaints, in spite of all their series of bad events, these subjects remain a couple, either married or not, and live in abject disharmony for most of their lives. We all know folks like that and we all wonder why they exist. While it is common for some to say that those in a couple should be alike in their life-styles and former histories, there are others who think that opposites attract. I have encountered amongst perfectly lovely men and women that it is their psychology rather than their habit that determines their destinies. It's how we think that makes us. We can over ride our past lives or change ourselves if we wish to. There's no value in blaming our up-bringings if we aren't about to deal with them. Most don't need a counsellor or psychiatrist to do it, because all they do is help you take an honest look at the whole mess and fix it yourself. It's buried in your own mind. If not repaired, you wallow and that seems to fit for many, unfortunately. Getting back to the perfect couple, the masochist and the misogynist, they are unlikely ones but they appear to fit well together.  This aberration can be in various couple genders but I use the male/female set here. The misogynist male that I speak of is not the  beater of women who is a criminal, but the one who finds ways to make his female's life hell in more subtle ways.  He uses words and behaviours that keep her in a constant state of angst. The abuse pattern is peppered with rosy times of make-up but it invariably happens again, over and over.  She, strangely, on the other hand, accepts and appears to enjoy this sort of treatment.  She uses it to give excitement to her life and to elicit the sympathy of others. How many times do we have to hear,  "I just can't leave the poor man" or "but I love him". If she loves him and what he does  makes her life impossible, it seems to prove she is a masochist. The abuse pattern goes on and on until one or the other individual breaks it by getting out of the relationship. It isn't all that easy. Being with someone for a long time becomes like breathing, a life habit, and that makes it hard to end. It is only difficult until you have had an opportunity to look at the relationship objectively. Take a time out. A clever misogynist works his craft well whether deliberately or subconsciously. Same thing. He comes on as being a fine chap who is romantic and attentive. When he is sure he has caught someone in his web, on come the small cruelties, the loud silences, the moods, the philanderings. He is forgiven numerous times by his understanding mate who takes him back over and over again. He is expert at knowing just how to charm to make that happen. But the pattern continues on like a well oiled wheel. Beware, it's  a wheel turned, not by one, but by two.